Are You the Man You Really Want to Be?

Are You the Man You Really Want to Be

There is no question that life today is tough. While it is not as physically demanding as it was back in the day when our parents lived and they had to get ice for the ice box and shovel coal for the furnace to stay warm in the winter, there are different challenges that we are presented with on a day-to-day basis.

There is social media, the ever-increasing judgements that are cast around on the Internet, women and relationships have changed and continue to do so, and it seems that everything is just more stressful now than ever. Was there stress when our parents were growing up? Yep. Some people just bucked up and did what they had to do no matter what. Today it seems that, especially with young people, our level of discomfort has lessened to the point that not many people will do what they have to do if it’s too uncomfortable for them. With all of this being said, are you the man you really want to be?

There are some basic character traits that we all still admire: loyalty, truthfulness, kindness, work ethics, and just being a good person. A good person is someone who does something that is the right thing to do even if no one is looking, or if no one will find out, and especially if you are doing it for someone who cannot repay the favor. Paying it forward is still the goal of many people and what used to be a more popular endeavor, performing a random act of kindness, is still being carried out on a regular basis. It is sad that the good acts seem to be outnumbered by the bad, stupid and crazy things people are doing that draw more and more attention.

Do you feel that you are the man that you really want to be? Do you have role models that have helped you to shape the way you live your life? Did you have a father who supported his family financially and personally? Were your grandparents a part of the family structure with a long-standing marriage as an example of what you really did when you loved someone? If you did have even one of these elements in your life you at least have some kind of a base to be the person you would be proud to be.

Being a good person is not an easy thing to be. It seems as though the “Me Generation” never really went away. Even when you try to do what you think is right, your peanut gallery of friends will criticize you if you don’t get something out of it for yourself. If you have done something kind for someone when no one else knew about it and you saw the appreciation on a person’s face, you know that that feeling far outweighs any reward you could get for yourself.

There are men who treat women poorly. They don’t respect them and use them for sex whenever they want. They are usually hooked up with women who don’t have much self-esteem and the attention they get, even as damaging as it is, is enough to keep them coming back for more. A man who is respected has a partner who he has a healthy sexual relationship with. They work together as a team and deal with issues that they may face together rather than using them to tear each other apart.

If you grew up without a father you know that an important part of your life was missing. Given the opportunity to be a father chances are you would vow to never do this to a child and commit to being the best parent you can be. You will be doing your part to break the chain of children who can’t cope with that kind of situation and end up acting out when they are older.

Everyone has that little voice inside their head that reminds them what the right thing is to do. The more you pay attention to that voice, do the right thing, and surround yourself with positive people who appreciate your value, you will be on your way to being the man you really want to be.

Do Men’s Roles in Movies Make Real Men Look Bad?

When Bruce Willis appeared as John McClane in the first Die Hard movie in 1988, he played an unstoppable off-duty New York police officer. No matter what came his way, McClane was able to take it on and still get the bad guys. At one point he ended up walking barefoot on broken glass. He was still able to get through it without even a second thought.

Do Men’s Roles in Movies Make Real Men Look Bad

Yes, this was a movie and not real life, but when my father fell off a small step ladder while taking down the Christmas tree lights at my sister’s house, he was bleeding out of his ear and he shattered his ankle into enough pieces that he needed a piece of metal permanently implanted. While it is certainly easy enough to make the distinction between fact and fiction, it seems that other than obvious superhero movies based on comic book heroes, some of these depictions of men in movies may have finally crossed the line of no return.

How many movies have we watched where the bad guy is hunted down, shot at, and is left for dead only to have him miraculously reappear when we least expect it. Does this make him more of a man? Does it make you less of a man?

There are movies where men do act strong in more emotional ways than physical, but they quickly get categorized as “chick flicks.” In the romantic tear jerker The Notebook, the husband stood by his wife’s side all the way to old age and while she was suffering from dementia. That is what men should be aspiring to but do guys just brush it off and make jokes so they don’t have to think that deeply about a true act of love in action?

While action movies are exciting to watch they are obviously exaggerated. But that is sometimes what entertainment is all about. It’s just too bad that some young guys see this stuff and think it’s cool and aspire to be like some of these over-the-top characters. Have any of these types of movies made you feel inferior based on the unbelievable feats achieved by the main character?

If you have a solid grasp of what is meant to be entertaining, while totally fictional, you probably take it with a grain of salt. But if you are suffering from low esteem as it is, watching a superhero in action could make you feel even less confident in yourself.

Try not to compare yourself with other people in general, and certainly not any fictional portrayals in the movies. Everyone has their insecurities whether you want to believe it or not. Just work on yourself and don’t let anything get in the way of building your own self esteem.

Find a role model in your real life who you can talk to for advice. Set goals for yourself and set your own standards of what it is to be a real man.